I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
