Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
