I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
