I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
