so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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