nut hugger
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
