You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize