i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
