Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
