so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
