ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
