I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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