It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
