I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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