You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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