reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
