Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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