do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
