We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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