i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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