Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
