omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
