Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
