we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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