hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
