I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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