How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
