I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize