mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
