Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
