you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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