i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
