fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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