The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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