She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
