I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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