you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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