So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
