she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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