if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
