I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
