Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
