im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
