My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
