What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
