I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
