We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
