And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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