At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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