You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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