Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
