i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
