2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
