Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my being single is dangerous.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
