so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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