Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
