Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
