Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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